I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well I just put wine in my tea
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
