I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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