She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize