i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
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I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
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A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize