Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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