I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
