This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
