If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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