Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize