I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
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That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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