Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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