Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
