you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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