there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
