There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
