wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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