I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
