Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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