Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
