If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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