I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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