i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
