I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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