My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
