Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
