they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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