It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
