What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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