do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
