Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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