Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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