Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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