Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night