I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
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She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
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Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.