After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
