I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
