just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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