Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize