Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
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