if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
