me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
