i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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