so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
