"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I love having hate sex.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
