Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
