i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
