He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
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