Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
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I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
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