Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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