So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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