If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
