the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We need to get me chipped asap
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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