i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
