My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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