The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
