It's Friday. Sex?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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