I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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