Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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