Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
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I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
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The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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