do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
