Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
