I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Drunk is not a location!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
