So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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