note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
